Education has a purpose. Equally important when learning all the important facts about history, math, science, literature, music and art, is learning where you stand in relation to everything that has happened, is happening and will happen around you. Educating yourself about what is in your control to change, and learning how priceless the value of your reasoned choice, will be your most powerful allies in learning how to live well.
Assessment is a necessary part of being a teacher, parent, leader, etc. There’s a trick to discovering whether or not your approach is working. Formal and informal assessments work in a classroom, but don’t go over as well in other areas of life. However, if we learn enough about human behavior, we can dangle hunches about how we feel people will react to situations based on the learning environments we’ve nurtured and cultivated. When situations arise, instead of reacting – we can pause to see what happens – pause to see how others will react. It follows more of a martial arts philosophy, to see if our pupils know without knowing.
Three things to know about this approach: 1) Brace for disappointment (as expectation is the root of disappointment). 2) Accept you will be the villain in someone else’s story as the saying goes. The right path is not paved; it’s more akin to a high speed, foggy descent down a mountain on a winding road that’s endless, pothole-filled, there are no railings and your brakes don’t work. 3) Learn to love the ride, because fearing it will only make it worse. Focus on keeping your spirit strong as that the antiseptic for all the scrapes and bruises you’ll endure along the way.
You can never be wronged by anyone that’s better than you – only people that are weaker than you! It’s also crucial to remember that “wronged” and “defeated” are two completely different outcomes. When people weaker than you feel they’ve defeated you and act as such, have confidence in knowing you’ve got their number.
The definition of eke is “managing to support oneself or make a living with difficulty.” For some of us, the addendum to that definition might be: See also, 2019.
Perhaps it’s what comes with aging, but the years as of late have felt to me to be thriving by surviving. Upon reflection, it feels like the past several years would have to go into the loss column. It also feels that this is a universal feeling; the state of the world seems to be racking up losing seasons.
I will be taking a few weeks off from writing to celebrate my family and connecting with what matters most to me. Although I feel the losses, I equally understand the growth that I am not yet fully appreciating and truly realize that waking up in the morning means the day is already won. I just need to get better at appreciating the simplicity and beauty of that gift.
For anyone that has stumbled upon this blog over the past year and has taken the time to read it, thank you! If at any point you happened to take the extra step to like and/or follow, I am truly humbled and thank you!
Happy/Merry and see you in 2020!
Self-preservation takes on the form of our conditioning: Fight/flight or play dead. When it comes to living and leading, fighting for those you selflessly protect is the only true act of self-preservation. Anything else is cowardice!
Furthermore, acceptance is not an act of playing dead – it’s the will to not fight back when up against ignorance. Knowing when a fight is unwinnable and therefore choosing not to engage is a strength, not a weakness.
Sometimes, an imperfect moment will result in an unfair perception. Other times, a normal moment will result in an unfair perception. Perceptions are not truths, and be aware that those who feel that how they feel somehow turns beliefs into truth are beyond your control. Balance your reality and take pity on those who believe perceptions to be truths. Life will always be hard for them.
Life isn’t fair. There will be times when we are unable to defend ourselves, speak our truths and be left at the mercy of myopically subjective fools. In these moments, it’s important to continue to live your truth! Do not descend into the realm of ignorance – for the people that willfully betray others will always have to face themselves in the mirror. You, on the other hand, will always have to face your own reflection long after these painful moments wane. Live to be proud of what stares back at you and let that guide your actions. Do not fool yourself into expecting justice from those that confront mirrors in the dark, too afraid to flip the switch and face the face that will be looking back at them in the light.