The Unwanted Perspective

Perspective is a recurring theme in this blog, and viewed primarily as something that we constantly long to achieve as a means of creating a balanced view of our lives. However, sometimes we are given a dose of perspective that’s unwanted: an unexpected diagnosis – a sudden death – a tragedy. When news is not good and there are no words in the moment that will help, a lesson on perspective will rightfully fall on deaf ears. The time for perspective is not always now!

The only perspective that matters in these moments is hopefully having learned enough from past pain to know how to move forward, even when we know it’ll likely be as though we’re blindfolded and feeling our way through the dark.

Whether the pain is pain you yourself are enduring firsthand or experiencing second, third or fourth-hand, life will keep moving. It’s a linear push. The last thing we want to hear when experiencing loss is a dose of reality. The Latin phrase “Memento Mori” means “remember, you must die.” It sounds like a threat, but it’s not. It’s a reminder of a promise to the debt that we all must pay. The people we love – their bodies are the shelter of souls. Their energy and spirit are what we are most attracted to, and that lives forever – in our hearts as a feeling, and in the stories we tell when we need some of their energy back in a moment to put a smile on our faces, or even to feel a touch of pain, just so we remember how deeply we are capable of feeling. The people who help us feel most intensely are the ones that also serve as a reminder, when we allow ourselves to be weighed down by the day-to-day stressors we experience, of what is really important to care about. Connection. True connection is what we hold onto even when it’s physically no longer there. That is love.

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Aspiring Stoic and Doting Father

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